Sometimes God takes me down paths that I probably wouldn’t have chosen for myself. Paths where I feel unequal to the task, unprepared for the road before me.
I want to share an entry from a devotional I have been reading. The entry below from “Voices of the Faithful” powerfully captures the essence of my thoughts over this past year. BTW – I recommend this devotional highly.
“Call” is a word often reserved for great and lofty aspirations. The words describing the experience of God’s call are not easily found. The word “missionary” can bring about the same thoughts as “call.” Christians sometimes see missionaries as superhumans who are so perfect in their spiritual walks that God pulls them out of the mundane to do extraordinary things.
In my case, that’s not true. The mission call in my life has been the most humbling experience I have ever had. Why? Because I’ve come face to face with expectations and have fallen short. God knows full well who I am, but sometimes I still wonder if He knows how vulnerable and frail my faith is.
I’m a new missionary, green and wet behind the ears. I haven’t seen a whole village accept Christ or thousands baptized in a row. I don’t even know the language yet! And I’m a little scared, becuase I don’t want to fail God. I don’t want to fail my spouse, my kids, or all those wonderful saints who are praying for my family. I especially don’t want to fail the people I’ve come to help.
It’s hard to remember that it’s not me who has to do the work, but that I am just supposed to be available to God so He can do His work. I’m realizing that I don’t have to be a superhuman to do God’s will, but I do need a heart that trust Him where He leads me.
Written by Nicole, in Africa (Devotion for September 22nd)