O Lord, Open my lips, and my mouth will declare your praise. You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings, The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit and a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise. Ps 51:15-17

Rich Mullins wrote a song that stated “By the standards around here I’m not doing that awful…but it’s hard to be like Jesus.”

This week God convicted me of something that I needed to change in my life. One of those little things that I had never even thought of in relation to holiness. To be honest, at first I was annoyed. I argued with God. That only lasted a day because who can win that argument. Then I told Him o.k., you are God, if that is what you want I’ll yield, but I don’t have to like it. And that was when God began to break my heart. God isn’t the God that the Pharisee’s thought He was, demanding perfect obedience in every letter of the law, but neglecting the heart. The sacrifice that He desires is a heart that is broken before Him. The attitude is as important as the obedience itself.

For those of you who were concerned about me on Saturday – thank you for caring. God had been preparing me to see the truth. We sang “like a rose, trampled on the ground, you took the fall and thought of me, above all.” As we sang I couldn’t stop thinking of His sacrifice on my behalf. He held NOTHING back and “for the joy set before him endured the cross” (Heb 12:2). So what if God asks something of me that I would prefer He didn’t. In the end it is for my benefit, for my holiness. How can I not lay down absolutely everything in the face of that kind of love!

God used this week to shape and mold me and I am thankful that He is faithful to never let go of me! I know a number of you were wondering if I was discouraged by the delay to leave for Hungary. Honestly, there are days that I am discouraged. But there are days, like Saturday, when I see God’s hand and recognize that He doesn’t make mistakes. He still has a lifetime of lessons to teach me and He knows the circumstances that are needed for me to learn the lessons. And I will wait on Him, for He is good.